In March of 2019, I spent an afternoon wandering the streets of New Orleans with two strong and wonderful women, Lisa Causey and Melanie Bolke. The three of us had never spent time together without our significant alpha males tagging along, and we had what I still consider a magical experience. It’s one of my favorite days ever. We talked too loudly (ok, yelled a lot) and laughed all day long, everywhere we went — the oyster bar at Bourbon House, in and out of various music joints/bars on Bourbon Street, and tourist-trapping souvenir shops. I felt twenty years younger, and I laughed until I hurt, mostly at Lisa’s nonstop hilarity. I wish I could relive that day, yet it’s one we could never recreate. In fact, the three of us haven’t reunited since then.

Little did I know that Lisa was suffering silently and had been for more than a year. A trifecta of perpetrators had worked her over: Post-Partum Depression, Post-Partum Anxiety, and PTSD. She never showed us even a hint of a struggle, but weeks after that happy day in NOLA, she was in tears at the OBGYN’s office. Thankfully, she and her husband Caleb went there seeking help.

Before I go any further, I have to offer a few facts. Lisa Causey is tough as nails. The woman has grit. She can shoot steel targets with a 9mm from 100 yards away (to those of you who know about shooting pistols, yes, she really did that). She went hiking in the Grand Tetons in Wyoming around Jenny Lake with a baby on her back! (In fairness to Caleb, they took turns.) After completing a bio break during that adventure, they looked up and saw a 150 lb black bear charging them on the trail. Both Lisa and Caleb deployed bear spray, and all four mammals got a nice dose. Then, they continued on around the lake and enjoyed the majestic scenery around them.

I imagine that bear noticed Lisa’s commanding presence. She has a compelling voice and a sharp wit (maybe the bear got a sample of that, too). Even her work is powerful (she’s a colleague in the nonprofit world). There’s a softer side to her, though. She has a wonderful smile, and it shines the brightest when she’s with her family, whom she loves fiercely. She’s practical but kind, and she’s accustomed to offering, not requesting, help.

When Lisa heard about the Slay the Stigma podcast (hosted by The Counseling Place), she bravely offered to share her story. She doesn’t fit the stereotype of a woman who would ever need help, especially with something like depression or anxiety. Lisa knows, however, that the stereotype feeds the stigma and prevents others from seeking assistance from a professional. She also knew that by sharing her experience, she could help others avoid a great deal of suffering.

We sat down together in the makeshift recording studio at The Counseling Place, and Lisa held nothing back. She described her and Caleb’s struggle with unexplained infertility and the painful Mothers and Fathers Days they endured throughout that arduous journey. She provided a vivid description of traumatic labor and delivery, the frantic operating room (it’s jaw dropping), and the eerie feeling of waking up in an empty dark room, with no baby. She recalled the days that followed, visiting Lincoln in the NICU, where he spent his first Christmas. After Lincoln came home, Lisa explained her symptoms of anxiety — how it toyed with her thoughts, causing her to question if Lincoln was really theirs. What if someone made a mistake? After all, neither she nor Caleb witnessed his birth. Finally, she shared how therapy, specifically EMDR (which she described as “whackadoodle”), helped her heal, feel normal again, and enjoy motherhood.

Lisa implores those who are struggling with anxiety or depression of any kind to seek help. I’m grateful for her candor and honored she shared her story with us. Listen for yourself here: Slay the Stigma, Episode 3: Lisa’s Story

Many thanks to Richardson Woman’s Club for sponsoring Slay the Stigma!