Last night I took my anger for a walk. This is what I usually do when it wants to take the helm. I take it outside to avoid saying things that are hurtful and unproductive and also to determine what it’s made of.

Last night, I knew what triggered my anger; it was not only missing the memorial dedication for Sherin Matthews but not even knowing about it. (Part of my self-care regimen involves not watching or reading the news, but I have a network of folks, including my husband, who usually alert me to relevant stories.) So I knew the trigger but needed to walk a while to find out what my anger was made of.

The dark and the cold helped me sort things out pretty quickly. The Sherin Matthews case caused me and countless others to feel infuriated, disgusted, outraged and saddened. What stood out most, though, as an advocate, was the all too familiar feeling of helplessness. Missing the memorial reminded me of how helpless this case made me feel.

In 2013, our community lost another child. We call her Baby Abby. She was an infant murdered by her parents. This act of violence didn’t receive much attention, but it rocked our community of Fire Fighters/EMT’s, Law Enforcement, Child Protective Services Caseworkers and Advocates. When a detective asked about a memorial service, our lead advocate made one happen. Everyone needed a place to come together and grieve. They needed to be around those who understood. I will never forget the sight of detectives and paramedics carrying Baby Abby’s tiny casket; it confirmed that the smallest caskets are indeed the heaviest. Organizing a memorial was the only thing the advocate could do, but it was a powerful something.  Continue reading “Sherin Matthews” →